I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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