No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
