So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
