My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
