so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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