covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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