LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize