he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lost the right to judge tonight
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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