Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You dont lie about slip and slides
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
