why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
