Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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