Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
