Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
