he shaved USA in his pubs
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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