It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
