Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
