I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize