If i come over, it means nothing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
