literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
