DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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