I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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