i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
