Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
