We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
