My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
