I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize