I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
