Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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