I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
