Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize