Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
