Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
