She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize