Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
These tits shall not be calmed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
