As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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