If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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