Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize