at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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