What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
