really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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