she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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