I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
