"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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