It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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