i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's great music for shaving your balls
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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