Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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