i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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