Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
