I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i think my cat just said my name.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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