Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
