So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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