so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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