I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
