Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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