i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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