you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
