I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
