I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize