I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
