i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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