Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
