omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
