Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize