Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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