11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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