and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
