I skipped work to stalk him.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
