You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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