Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
