It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
