Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
