My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
