i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
