Only a mothe r could love this liver
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
