got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
