Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
