Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
