glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
